Feeling Betrayed
by LittleChic
Summary: Kirsten returns from rehab to her family but an ill Ryan doesn't feel any part of it. Finally updated! Sorry about odd formatting.
1. Chapter 1

Feeling Betrayed

Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with the OC unfortunately!

Thanks for reviews on my other fics, I do think however that 'Brothers' will be left as a one shot.

Kirsten returns home from re-hab and faces the consequences

Takes place a little over a month after 'The Dearly Beloved'

"Seth, come on your mother will be home any time soon"

"Yes and as pleased as I am to hear that it still doesn't make me want to help you tidy up the kitchen which I have to say looks like all your stuff dad!"

Sandy turns to face his son from the kitchen sink and raises his eyebrow higher than usual

"And seeing as mom is on her way have you had a chance to look in the mirror this morning maybe its time you left the sparkling kitchen to go do some grooming of your own"

Sandy picks up the dish cloth that was immersed in water and throws it at Seth, hitting him bang in the face

"You can't tell me you didn't deserve that one son, but come to think of it maybe I'll just go and check myself out make sure I'm still handsome enough that you're mother will want me as soon as she walks through the door"

"Oh god please spare me, I'm your son"

Sandy smiles at him

"Oh yes I remember the day you were conceived"

"Enough . . . now please go and sort out those eyebrows"

"Hold on, I should probably go and see how Ryan's doing"

"He's not up yet dad? It's like half 12"

"I know"

Sandy grabs a mug and pours him some coffee

"Be right back"

Seth nods his head and wanders over to the island

As Sandy enters the pool house, he is surprised to see that Ryan is still in bed, the blinds are still closed and it is extremely hot in the room

"Hey kid, I brought you some coffee and came to see if everything is ok?"

Sandy places the mug of coffee on Ryan's bedside table and perches himself on the edge of the bed noticing Ryan's extra blanket placed over the usual one.

Ryan moves slightly and lifts the covers from over his head

"Sandy" Ryan's voice comes over as a croak; Sandy leans forward and notices the extremely flushed cheeks and paleness of his usual healthy looking boy

"You ok Ryan?" He touches Ryan's forehead and feels the heat radiating off of it

"What time is it?" Ryan looks completely lost

"It's just gone half 12 kid" Sandy's face softens as he realises Ryan isn't well

Suddenly after a few minutes it seems to register to Ryan just what is happening today

"Why didn't you wake me earlier? Kirsten's coming home right?"

He starts trying to untangle himself albeit slowly from his covers but to no avail, Sandy places his hand gently on Ryan's shoulder

"Ryan I can see your not feeling well, how about you grab a shower, Kirsten will be here in about 20 minutes and I'm sure if you're not around when she walks through the door she'll be in here like a shot"

Sandy smiles and stands up to leave

"But take your time alright we don't want you collapsing in here do we and I'll have some nice hot lemon ready for you when you come in"

Sandy smiles again trying to make Ryan feel better, this is the first time Ryan has been ill since being at the Cohen's and Sandy wants to make him feel as comfortable as ever

Ryan lays his head back down on his comfy pillow and sighs

Kirsten arrives at the front door of her house, pausing a moment for breath realising just how hard this is going to be for her and for everyone, hoping they realise that she really has given up alcohol and everything is going to be alright. Closing her eyes her hand restlessly holding the keys to her life and her family hoping to convince only one person in particular . . . . . . . . . . Ryan.

Opening the door and slowly walking into the now eerie house with it's expansive hallway realising that she never wanted any of this, the house, working for her dad but everything changed when she heard her mother was ill and Sandy didn't dream of holding her back when she decided to move to Newport . Sandy was right Newport is a bubble but it's her bubble now, mum's gone, dad's gone, but family still here!

Her loving husband who even though hated her dad still got him out of trouble.

Seth has a selfish tendency to think about himself before anyone else, but his heart was definitely in the right place.

And Ryan, so far his life has been far from normal, a loving family is what she offered him, should've given him, needed to give him now and she was damn well going to try but the fact was would he trust her enough to let it happen.

"Hello, Sandy, Boys"

"Kirsten we're in the kitchen" Sandy shouts

She puts her bags down and clicking her heels against the tiles she walks into the kitchen

She's met by two handsome men grinning wildly at her, Seth runs towards her and hugs her tightly

"Seth honey have you missed me?"

"Mom missed you, not at all. You missed me by any chance?"

"Of course how could I not"

Sandy and Kirsten chuckle and smile at each other. Seth lets go making room for Sandy to be with his wife, walking round the island they hug holding onto each other for what seems like ever

"Oh come on there's plenty of time for love in the Cohen house, oh god did I just say that"

They all laugh, now this feels like a family.

Meanwhile Ryan has entered the kitchen seeing the three together looking happy, he doesn't remember them looking that happy for a while suddenly reminding Ryan of the intervention.

Kirsten obviously never wanted Ryan in her house, that's what it was Kirsten's or Sandy's house or Seth's house but Ryan, Ryan was a guest and that is all he would ever be.

Sandy spots Ryan after a few minutes, pale with those now extremely flushed cheeks and a slight swaying effect on his body shows him that all is definitely not well with Ryan.

Letting go of Kirsten Sandy makes his way over

"Hey kid" placing his hand on Ryan's back he gently starts to guide him to the living room

"Let's sit you down before you fall down huh?"

Ryan gives Sandy a gentle nod "K" Sandy turns towards the kitchen

"Kirsten can you bring in his hot lemon, it's just on the side"

She smiles at Sandy and Ryan, Ryan's head turns the other way, she has a lot of work to do

Her eyebrows knit together, turning to Seth

"How long has Ryan been ill then?"

"Well I didn't know anything about it until dad told me at half 12 that he hadn't seen Ryan all morning so he went to see him and came back few minutes later telling me he must have the flu or some bug, I mean you know Ryan he never tells anyone how he's feeling"

"You got that right" she mumbles under her breath, grabbing the mug of drink

"What mom?"

"I said well I hope he's alright"

"Ah" One of Seth's eyebrows rises

"Have you been practising acting like your father?"

"Please, no practise needed remember its all in the genes even those bloody eyebrows"

"Seth"

"I know" She kisses him on the forehead as they walk into the living room together

"Seth will you go to the linen closet and bring back a big blanket please"

Sandy looks at Seth for a minute before his eyes are diverted to a shivering Ryan, who seems to be wearing a few extra clothes for this time of year.

Sandy, who has been kneeling infront of Ryan decides to get up before his legs give way but keeps a reassuring hand on the nape of Ryan's neck, the silence is suddenly broken by Kirsten

"How are you sweetie? You know after everything?"

She sits down next to him still holding his mug of hot lemon and feels the glare from Sandy, luckily that is the moment Seth decides to reappear with a blanket for Ryan.

Taking the blanket off Seth and about to lay it over Ryan when he starts coughing, sounding a bit wheezy Kirsten places her hand on Ryan's back rubbing it in circles to try to ease the coughing, it eases slightly and realising everyone is staring at him Ryan decides to get some air and stands, suddenly Seth seems to spinning for some reason?

Kirsten seeing Ryan sway towards her grabs him by the forearm

"Easy sweetie"

When Ryan regains his balance slightly he shrugs Kirsten's arm off and glares at her

"Don't help me" He mumbles slightly, Sandy and Seth stand their in shock at the sudden hatefulness in Ryan's voice

"Ryan" Sandy says sternly, Kirsten quietens him with a hand up and a shake of her head

"I expected this Sandy its fine look Ryan I'm sorry about what I said to you at the intervention I didn't mean it, I was hurt at what was happening to me and because I was unable to control it like I'm used to"

Ryan shakes his head

"I let you into this house" Ryan turns to her "Let me; don't you think I know that? I remember that everyday because the day you said I could stay was the day my mom left Me, She Left Me to live with strangers.

You know what Kirsten I love you, I do. You, Sandy and Seth have done so much for me and I love you all but I want you to know how much you hurt me saying that, you and mom are practically the same, dependant on alcohol and have a son who you don't want"

"Ryan, No" Kirsten's hands fly to cover her mouth, reeling from the shock

"Ryan" Sandy places a hand on Ryan to stop him from leaving

"Sandy please let me go" Ryan's jaw set in place

"No, I want this all sorted out now so we can carry on with being a family"

"I was never a part of this family, or any other family so what does it matter"

Ryan shakes Sandy off aggressively and leaves them in the living room to stew


	2. Chapter 2

Feeling Betrayed

Disclaimer applies as norm

This is not beta'd so all mistakes are mine, any1 available to let me know.

So didn't realise its been this long since I posted chapter 1, am so sorry but thanks to SVOC Luva, going through my emails I realised I still have your review so tis all thanks to you that I am continuing!

"O.K, I'm sorry but what on earth just happened. Could it be because like Ryan is ill and delusional from his high fever that he doesn't know what he's saying, seemed to me like he was blaming mum?" Seth turns to Sandy waiting for his input however Sandy doesn't seem to have anything to add.

Silence fills the living room, Kirsten knew something like this would happen she knew that as soon as she had spoken those words and seen Ryan's reaction the words would've gone straight to his heart and would remain there for a long time.

Finally Kirsten stands, straightens out her skirt and starts to walk out the room

"Kirsten honey, where are you going?" Sandy starts to follow her but she turns placing her hand up to stop him

"I am a Cohen, I am going to go and sort this out once and for all. Ryan thinks he's never been part of a family well once I'm through he's going to damn well feel part of this one"

"Ooh go mum, just so you know I think it's going to be harder than you think I mean Ryan's not about the talking now is he"

All can be heard are Kirsten's clicking heels and she storms out of the kitchen, Seth and Sandy follow to the kitchen to watch from the window.

Taking a deep breath she opens the poolhouse door slowly and walks in.

"Ryan?"

Looking around she sees the bathroom door half closed, walking slowly towards it she calls his name again not wanting to scare him

"Ryan"

Hearing a choking sound she rushes to the door and opens it revealing Ryan hovering over the toilet

"Aw Sweetie" Bending down she starts to rub his back in a soothing circular motion

"Kirsten, please leave me alone, I can't deal with this right now"

Spiting into the white porcelain bowl he reaches up to the handle pulling it down as he slowly stands, Kirsten backs off.

"You do know that I am not like your mom don't you, I would never abandon my son"

Ryan abruptly turns to face her, eyes wide like a bull ready to run to the red flag

"Son, which means one I thought you had two of those? You want me to be a part of this family so much but I'm not included don't you see that"

Ryan pushes past Kirsten leaving her standing in the bathroom

"O.K Ryan lets do this your way, you can say whatever you like starting now, tell me what goes on in that heads of yours cos boy I can't begin to understand anything that you're trying to tell me right now"

Ryan gets into his bed pulling the covers tight round his body, Kirsten props herself on the edge being careful not to invade his space. Ryan looking anywhere but at Kirsten

After several minutes of silence Ryan opens his mouth

"Where do you want me to start?"

Kirsten gently grabs onto Ryan's chin pulling it so he finally focuses on her

"At the beginning"

Several more minutes of silence fill the air as Ryan tries to figure out what he wants to say

"Ryan, do you want me to tell you something I learned at Suriak?"

Ryan starts to sneeze and Kirsten goes to the kitchen to grab the box of tissues off the counter, returning she hands him the box.

She walks to one of the doors where she can see Seth and Sandy sitting patiently on the patio chairs, they notice her and sticking up her hand discreetly she gives them an ok signal. Seth's mouth starts to move extremely quickly and Kirsten smiles

After blowing his nose, clearing his throat, sneezes some more he finally answers "What did you learn?"

Turning to face Ryan her face turns serious and she frowns deeply

"I'm Kirsten and I'm an alcoholic"

Her hands clenched at her sides, her lips pursed tightly together, silence.

"Do you know how hard that was for me to say? To realise that I am an alcoholic and dependant on a substance that I always took for granted only I didn't realise just how much I took it for granted, I didn't realise I was losing control.

I take Sandy for granted, I expect him to look after me, be there when I need him and vice-versa"

Moving closer to the bed she notices how much Ryan is deep in thought hopefully she's getting through.

"Just like Seth takes us for granted, he's our son and we will always be there for him and Sandy and I feel the same way about you Ryan, we love you the same as Seth, you are our son.

I'm sorry about what I said I was in denial, it took all of you to make me understand just what I was doing to the family and the only way that I was going to get past it was to get help"

Ryan starts to play with his extra blanket and his cheeks have flushed even more, is that from the fever or finally realising that he does have a family

"I know that your not like Seth, you take things to heart and they stay there for a long time, I know that your mom abandoning you was a major part in your life and something that is going to stick with you probably for the rest of it. Sandy, Seth and I can't change what's happened in your life kid but your mom left you here for a reason and that's because she wanted a better life for you"

Kirsten is sitting back on Ryan's bed

Ryan's turn, in a low husky voice he starts to talk

"You never wanted me here, when Sandy brought me home that night you were nervous I could tell, I understand that you didn't know me, I was a stranger and why would you want me near your son, Sandy had brought me home from juvie and in your eyes that meant I was a criminal. Staying that night was the best thing that had ever happened because I realised that I didn't have to turn out like my mom, that I could make something of myself even if I didn't stay at your house again I would have found some way to stay around. And then mom leaving like that was surprising but expected really and as we walked together into the kitchen that comment you said I will never forget 'Ryan's gonna stay with us now' I couldn't have wished for better foster parents and as for Seth, I just can't explain him you all made me feel so welcome but just because I've been her for a couple of years now it still doesn't make me a Cohen, not by a long shot. I'm an Atwood, always will be"

"You may still be an Atwood but to me and Sandy you're a Cohen as for Seth I don't think anyone can explain him Ryan, he's certainly one of a kind" Kirsten smiles and grabs Ryan's fiddling hands

"But what you said at the intervention Kirsten, you're right I wont forget it because I have been hurt so much in the past it's really hard for me to trust people you should know that"

"Honey I do and I'm sorry, I never wanted you to find out, I know your mom used to drink a lot but why should you have to cope with my problem, your just a kid"

"You know what, I'm kinda tired"

Surprised at Ryan's sudden shut down, Kirsten stands abruptly

"Yeah sorry I know your not feeling well I just wanted to get this sorted so if there's anything you need."

"I'll be fine" and with that Ryan turns on his side, back facing Kirsten he eyes fill with tears and silently she retreats from the poolhouse.

Quickly walking past Seth and Sandy and in through the doors, Seth looks to Sandy who looks to the poolhouse

"Well I suppose it's going to get worse before it gets better"


End file.
